35 Funny Quotes and Sayings

Some of life’s truths can be communicated in a better way when it has some funny element in it. Funny Quotes and saying do the exactly same. Whether it’s a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things, or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life. These funny quotes about work, love, friends, and family will have you saying, “So true!”. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings.

Looking for the best funny memes and quotes words. Here are 35 best funny quotes and sayings that will laugh at your face “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”

Funny quotes and sayings to bring a smile to your face:

  • “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
  • “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
  • “I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!”
  • “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
  • “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  • “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
  • “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  • “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
  • “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
  • “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

I hope these lighten up your day and give you a good laugh! 😄 If you need more.

Funny Quotes and Sayings

#1. “Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life.”

35 funny quotes and sayings pictures
funny quotes and sayings pictures

#2. “Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.”

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Funny Quotes and Sayings impressive funny quotes

#3. “Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings 3
funny quotes about being beautiful

#4. “Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings 4
controversial quotes about happiness

Also Read: Top 56 Inspirational Good Morning Quotes with Beautiful Images

#5. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

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#6. “Go the extra miles it’s never crowded.”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings 6
funny sexist quotes and sayings

#7. “I’m trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t stick my head that far up my ass”

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funny thought quotes and humor quotes of the day

#8. “In life, you will meet two kinds of people. Ones who build you up, and ones who tear you down. But in the end, you will thank them both.”

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funny quotes to get you through the day

#9. “Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings 9
wacky quote and excitement quotes and sayings

Also Read: Top 28 Short Inspirational Quotes – Top Quotes and Sayings

#10. “It’s so strange that autumn is so beautiful, yet everything is dying.”

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what a fun day quotes and funky inspirational quotes

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Funny Quotes and Sayings

#11.  “You know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish I could do that with people.”

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#12. “Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.”

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#13. “The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.”

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#14. “I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.”

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#15. “Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.”

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random funny thoughts of the day

Also Read: Top 47 Cute Quotes About Life and Short Inspirational Sayings

#16. “If at first, you don’t succeed, fix your ponytail, and try again.”

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#17. Top hilarious quotes that make you laugh till you cry “It’s been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I’m like, ‘Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?’ Because I’m trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. John Mulaney

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Funny Quotes about life and love Funniest Sayings By Famous Authors

“Believe you can & you’re halfway there.”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings funny quotes and sayings about life
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#18. “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

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Funny Quotes with Pictures

#19. “Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you…”

35 inspirational quotes with humor and reading funny quotes
inspirational quotes with humor and reading funny quotes

#20. “It’s hard to find a friend who is: 95% talented 96% funny 98% loving 99% intelligent and 100% sweet so don’t u dare… Lose me!!”

35 Funny Quotes and Sayings fun quote of the day
Funny Quotes and Sayings fun quote of the day

Cool Funny Quotes – Amusing Sayings and Quotations

#21. “I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress…”

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funny beautiful quotes of the week funny

Also Read: Top 25 Funny Quotes And Sayings About Funny Memes

#22. “If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.”

35 funny inspirational messages and famous quotes about fun
funny inspirational messages and famous quotes about fun

#23. “Never make someone a priority, when all you are to them is an option.”

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quotes about being goofy random funny quotes and sayings

#24. “Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.”

35 Funny misunderstanding quotes sayings of the day
funny misunderstanding quotes sayings of the day

#25. Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud “Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I’m being funny, but I’m reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we’re going down the tube. Joan Rivers

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Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh

“Hey autocorrect, quit tampering with my curse words, you mother forklift!”

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funny two word sayings serious and funny quotes

#26. “Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.”

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Funny Quotes and Sayings funny inspirational quotes sayings

Also Read: Top 35 Inspirational & Motivational Quotes With Images for Success Life

#27. “I just checked my account balance at the atm. It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles.”

35 funny strong quotes and cheerful funny quotes
funny strong quotes and cheerful funny quotes

#28. “A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.”

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wise funny quotes and funniest quotes in the world

#29. “You don’t really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.”

35 hilarious quotes and sayings and funny quotes of the day
hilarious quotes and sayings and funny quotes of the day

#30. “It’s always funny listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.”

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good funny quotes and famous sayings funny

#31. Funny inspirational quotes about life “It’s such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you’re not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Johnny Depp

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Best Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

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humor quotes funny thought of the day

#32. “When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep in until noon because I’m a problem solver.”

35 funny wise sayings and short funny quotes about life
funny wise sayings and short funny quotes about life

#33. “The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it!’”

35 short fun quotes and cool sayings
short fun quotes and cool sayings

#34. “I’m pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you there wouldn’t be anything left!!!”

35 funny short quotes and funny phrases
funny short quotes and funny phrases

#35. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words”

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love is funny quotes and sayings funny happy quotes of the day funny

Funny quotes about life sayings “Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.”

“That moment when you realize it wasn’t a fart”

Funny Quotes and Sayings funny status quotes and witty sayings
funny status quotes and witty sayings

short funny quotes sayings “Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings. Ellen DeGeneres

Funny Love quotes and sayings Featured snippet from the web Timeless Quotes About Love: The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard but must be felt with the heart. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Top quotes about sarcastic quotes for you “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.” Whether that love is a new love or decades-old love, and whether it takes the form of romance or friendship, these quotes capture what is so special life.

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