Funny Minion Quotes Of The Week And Funny Sayings Here are the best funny minion quotes ever! Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! Funny Minion Quotes About Friends And Work In Real Life. See more ideas about minion quotes, minions funny, minions quotes.
Minions are a new trend on the internet, whatever the topic be these minions memes are sure to pop up one Here are the best funny minion quotes ever! Minions are so cute in their looks and funny in actions. Minions live in our hearts because of their cuteness and they are part of our daily life. People love the daily best funny minions quotes and jokes. Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face!
1. “Things to do today: 1. Get up. 2. Survive. 3. Go back to bed.”
2. “I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’ No, we pee in the yard.”
3. “Alcohol does not make you fat it makes you lean… Against tables, chairs, floors, walls, and ugly people.”
4. “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”
5. “OMG! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!”
6. “The best feeling is waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have hours to sleep.”
7. “There should be an app so you can delete your number out of other people’s phones.”
8. “The best thing about me… I’m a limited edition. There are no other copies! Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord!”
9. “I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.”
10. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.”
11. “I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.”
12. “I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what comes out of my mouth.”
13. “Love me and I’ll move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head”
14. “If a bra is an “over the shoulder boulder holder” then what would you call the men’s underwear? Under the butt nut hut?”
15. “Never sing in the shower singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked, so remember don’t sing”
16. “Don’t give me your attitude unless you want mine!!”
17. “My tolerance level is extremely low proceed with caution!”
18. “You know you’re getting old when you feel bad in the morning without having had any fun the night before!”
19. “Warning! A virus called Monday is fast approaching. There is no cure. Just drink plenty of alcohol on Sunday night to ease the pain!”
20. “Every day at work I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream: “Shut the F*ck up” out loud instead of just in my head.”
21. “Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kissing it, kicking it busting it, trying to get a piece of it behaving like one… Or, you live with one!!!”
22. “Respect your parents. They passed school without Google!”
23. “I might look like I’m doing nothing but in my head, I’m quite busy.”
24. “Don’t worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.”
25. “I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.”
26. “There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.”
27. “Heck, yes, I’m short god only lets things grow until they’re perfect some of us didn’t take as long as others.”
28. “If God shuts a door, quit banging on it! Whether it was behind it, wasn’t meant for you. Consider the fact that maybe he closed that door because he knew you were worth so much more.”
29. “The best thing about me… I’m a limited edition. There are no .other copies! Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord!” #funny minions quotes about life
30. “Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.”
31. “Take life day by day and be grateful for all little things. Don’t get stressed over what you can’t control.”
32. “Have you ever noticed that in every group of friends, the shortest one is usually the craziest.”
33. “Happy Friday!!”
34. “I’m with stupid” Do you have any? When people ask at you
35. “I was going to do something, then I got distracted for 5 seconds and forgot.”
36. “My 4 moods: I’m too old for this shit. I’m too tired for this shit. I’m too sober for this shit. I don’t have time for this shit!” 37. “They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.”
38. “When life knocks you down… Calmly get back up and very politely say, “You hit like a bitch”
39. “Top 4 whishes: 1. To earn money without working 2. To be smart without studying 3. To love without being hurt. 4. To eat without getting fat.”
40. “Don’t wait until you are rich to be happy. Happy is free.”
41. “My doctor asked me if I had ever had a stress test? Yes – I replied it’s called life”
42. “Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think…. Oh shit it’s the cops!”
43. “Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes…”
44. “One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that someone is happy because of you.”
45. “Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so it had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.”
46. “My mother always told me if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all… and some people wonder why I’m so quiet around them!”
47. “Of course women don’t work as hard as men… They get it right the first time.”
48. “A pet. My dog is family!”
49. “Don’t underestimate me because I’m quiet. I know more than I say, think more than I speak and I observe more than you know.”
50. “If I manage to survive the rest of the week, I would like my straight jacket in hot pink & my helmet to sparkle.”
It make you lean
My Saturday was going
OMG I almost to
The best feelings
You can delete
The best think about me…
Be nice to someone to
Friends come and go
Step away from being
Just as surprised
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Over the shoulder
Never sing in the shower
Don’t give me your attitude
Extremely low proceed
When you feel
Virus Monday is fast approaching
Every day at work
Life is all about
Respect your parents
But in my get
Don’t worry about getting
I love my so much
Going to bet at night
God only lets things
Top funny minions quotes about life “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the navy seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on A1-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth, mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”
