Cool Funny Quotes Life “I don’t always talk on the phone I like walking on the phone. Read more best funny memes and Cool Funny Quotes Life. The fact is that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years. without brain. hilarious sayings I love to live…
1. “I DON’T ALWAYS TALK ON THE PHONE, BUT WHEN I DO, I WALK EVERYWHERE IN MY HOUSE.”
2. “Warning: Due to the influence of hormones I could burst into tears or kill you in the next 5 minutes.”
3. “My 4 Moods:
I’m too old for this shit.
I’m too tired for this shit.
I’m too sober for this shit.
I don’t have time for this shit!”
4. “The fact that Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.”
5. “Don’t be silly. There’s no such thing as ‘too early to feed the cat’.”
Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
6. “I’ll look back on this and smile because it was LIFE and I decided to live it”
7. “WAS THE BASTARD FED TODAY ?!?!?
we fucked up.”
8. “If you have an opinion. about my life, please raise your hand.
Now put it over your mouth.”
Short inspirational quotes funny sayings “Due to the influence tears or kill you in 5 minutes”
9. “A RECIPE HAS NO SOUL.
AS THE COOK
MUST BRING SOUL TO THE RECIPE
10. “Think once before you act, twice before you speak, and three times before you post on Facebook.”
Very Short Funny Quotes
11. “When you get the munchies and need an emergency sandwich
12. “Not till We are lost do we begin to find ourselves. Thoreau.”
13. “WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN AT WORK FOR 8 HOURS
BUT THE CLOCK SAYS 9:00AM”
14. “Darling, why are you trying to reach the ceiling with your legs?
You don’t understand these things, Carl, it’s yoga and this is a position called the candle. And does the fact that you just farted have anything to do with it? It’s a scented candle. Now go away!”
15. “This dog has been staring me out for the last 10 mins..”
Funny inspirational quotes about life sayings “Give up, Give in or give it all you’ve got.”
16. “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHICH PAGE OF THE BIBLE EXPLAINS HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.”
17. “Any minute now The caffeine will kick in …any minute”
18. “You’ve got only three choices in your life: Give up, Give in or give it all you’ve got.”
19. “The voices are back!
20. “It takes real skill to choke on air, fall upstairs and trip over completely nothing.
I have that skill..”
Funny Crazy Quotes
21. “This woman took her cats to a department store to visit Santa and as you can see it went quite well”
Cool funny quotes about laugh sayings “If you have an opinion. Now put it over your mouth.”
22. “Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind.”
23. “No cell phone in sight. Just living in the moment. So beautiful, wish we could all go back in time.”
24. “NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY…STAY リ
Heal Your Body Through
Intermittent, Alternate-Day, and Extended Fasting
Funny Quotes About Me
26. “Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.”
27. “I DID A PUSH-UP TODAY.
WELL. ACTUALLY, I FELL DOWN, BUT I HAD TO USE MY MY ARMS TO GET BACK UP, SO… CLOSE ENOUGH
NOW I NEED CHOCOLATE”
28. “Office dog isn’t allowed on the couch, so this is her daily act of rebellion”
Cool funny quotes about happiness sayings “Life is shrinks or expands without my headache….”
29. “Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house or is it just me?”
30. “While staying at a hotel, I hear my husband yell, “Babe, come here quick!” When I walk in the bathroom he says, “look, it’s got an expert mode toilet seat.” I think it was his favorite part of our vacation.”
Extremely Funny Quotes
31. “LIFE SHRINKS OR EXPANDS IN PROPORTION TO ONE’S COURAGE.”
32. “DOES ANYBODY ELSE HAVE A VOICE IN THEIR HEAD THAT REPEATS,
“SLAP THE IDIOT, SLAP THE IDIOT!”
NO? JUST ME? HMM… ODD.”
33. “That annoying moment when you are texting someone decides to join the conversation. and Auto Correct”
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Funny Pictures and Images
Looking for the best funny memes and Funny Quotes About Life, my beautiful friend’s pictures, photos & images? funzumo’s pictures can be used on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, and blogs.
Why does my doctor want me to have a stress test?
Doctors use a stress tests to identify irregular heartbeats. The test can also determine if chest pain or difficulty breathing during exercise is related to a heart condition. For individuals in a heart rehabilitation program, the stress test can identify if and how well treatment is working.
34. “My doctor asked me if I had ever had a stress test.
YES – I replied IT’S CALLED LIFE.”
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