The right funny quote always fits the occasion. Who doesn’t like a good laugh? These 45 funny quotes and top funny sayings will make you laugh on every occasion. Enjoy these clever quotes from comedians, actors, authors, and TV shows.
Funny memes and images. Looking for a good laugh? We’ve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. top 45 Funny Quotes And Sayings About Funny Memes tagged with Featured, fun pics, funnies, funny, funny meme, funny memes, funny pics, Funny Pictures, humor, images, meme, memes, pics,
Contents
Funny
1. “That moment when you realize it wasn’t a fart.”
2. “When you finally catch the dude who’s been putting snakes in your boots.”
3. “Cry all flight long nkw fall asleep during landing.”
4. “Spends a month abroad starts story with “when I lived in europe…”
5. “I dont always have money but when I do, you know it’s tax season”
Funny Quotes and Messages
1. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
Katharine Hepburn
2. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
Groucho Marx
3. “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”
Jean Rostand
4. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
Isaac Asimov
5. “All men are equal before fish.”
Herbert Hoover
6. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”
Gertrude Stein
7. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
Bill Waterson
8. “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
9. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
10. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?”
Steven Wright
Funny Quotes On Life
6. “That moment when you find the perfect avocado at the supermarket”
7. “You must be the speed of light because time stops when I look at you.”
8. “I’ll smoke a little but I’m not getting super stoned *6 minutes later do you think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000?”
9. “Is your body from mcdonalds? Because I’m loving it.”
10. “Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co- worker. So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”
Funny Crazy Quotes
11. “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”
Norm Crosby
12. “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.”
David Letterman
13. “can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”
Fred Allen
14. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
Jerry Seinfeld
15. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”
Jackie Mason
16. “If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
Johnny Carson
17. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Matt Groening
18. “My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
Milton Berle
19. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Woody Allen
20. “The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
Jay Leno
Funny Quotes About Me
11. “When you sneeze so hard, your moustache changes lips:”
12. “The face you make when someone says they want a beach body. #Runselfie repeat.”
13. “Dark humor is like food not everyone gets it.”
14. “Me arriving at work willing to be a better person. 1 Hour later!!!”
15. “Mom is always great.”
Extremely Funny Quotes
16. “My girl ain’t allowed to turn up without me unless she wanna turn up missing.”
17. “If they truly love you, you’ll never need to chase them, convince them or beg them for anything.”
18. “Cool story bro 200 needs more bacon strips and bacon strips aud pacoustride.”
19. “Sometimes, I use big words I don’t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.”
20. “You’re fat don’t sugarcoat it cause you’ll eat that too.”
Funny Quotes
1. “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
Dave Barry
2. “There is a theory that states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory that states that this has already happened.”
Douglas Adams
3. “Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
4. “Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of people on vacations was considered a punishment.”
Betty White
5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
Miles Kington
6. “Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
Robert Orben
7. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
Ron White
8. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
H.L. Mencken
9. “But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”
Carl Sagan
10. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.”
Ronald Reagan
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Funny Pictures and Images
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21. “Do they deliver e- mails on sunday?”
