45 Sarcastic New Year Quotes – Funny Memes

Looking for funny words or pun sarcastic quotes for the new year? These are the best of the best new year sarcastic quotes for you to read and laugh at on new year’s eve. The random selection of sarcastic new year quotes, sayings, wishes, greetings, jokes, captions, and statuses (with images and pictures). If you want to smile all day on new year’s eve select one quote from the New Year Sarcasm Quotes collection we have provided here and refer to it all day. This will surely make your mood on new year’s day.

Sarcastic New Year Quotes

“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.”

“My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.”

“What’s your plan for 31st Night? mine is to check all bookmarks I added to my browser in the year 2023.”

Happy New Year Quotes for Funny

“My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away.”

“Dear 2022 I’m glad you’re Over.”

“Successfully wasted 358 days of 2023 8f202 more to go.”

“What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.”

“I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.”

Happy New Year Quotes for Funny

“I’m actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.”

“My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away.”

“People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.”

Humor Sarcastic New Year Quotes and images

“It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy new year!”

“I’m so excited for 2023! can wait to waste another year.”

“Here comes another one for the motivated people, New Year resolution … More time on Treadmill.”

“I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.”

Humor Sarcastic New Year Quotes

“Every new year I resolve to lose 20 pounds and I do the problems is that I gain 20.”

“New years party Expectation vs reality.”

“May all your troubles last as long as your new years resolutions.”

“Dear new year’s resolution, well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd.”

“I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they’d get a Bloody Mary.”

“People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”

“It’s officially New Year’s Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.”

“Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Happy New Year!!”

Funny Sarcastic New Year Quotes

“Shapes of heart from organ to stone.”

“Get ready to make this mistake soon in 2023…”

“Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.”

“This year I’m going to tell more people to fk off.”

Humor Sarcastic New Year Quotes with images

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments in this New Year!!”

“Best New Year’s Resolution: Start giving up. Giving Up.”

“Cheer’s to another year of resolutions we won’t finish. Happy New Year!”

“Funny Movie 2023 Fact… Today is the fifth death anniversary of our planet. rest in peace.”

New Year Resolutions Sarcastic Quotes

“I can’t believe its been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.”

“My new year’s resolution? I’ll probably keep it at 1280 x 1024 like always. thanks for asking.”

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”

“Dear 2023, make sure you don’t come up with temporary people.”

“The only thing I have gained in 2023 is weight :P”

“My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.”

Happy New Year Sarcastic Quotes

“Cheer’s to another year of resolutions we won’t finish. Happy New Year!”

“Cheers to those who are walking into 2023 single. Happy New Year!!”

“The first rule of 2023. never talk about 2023.”

“The library before finals looks like the gym after new years.”

“I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.”

“This year, my wish is that everyone gets exactly what they deserve.”

“Resolution for 2023. No Exception No Disappointment.”

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”

Sarcastic Happy New Year Quotes

“No New Year / New me here I’ll be the same honest as***** at 12:01 that I was at 11:59.”

“My new year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. I am not starting until next week though.”

“Diet day 1: I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.”

“Every year I make a resolution to change myself……. this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!”

“My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.”

“I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.”

“Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Happy New Year!!”

Sarcastic Funny New Year Quotes

“New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.”

“What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!”

“Don’t expect any New Year’s resolutions from me. I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, foul-mounted delight, that you have all come to know and love!”

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions!”

“New Year’s Resolution: Option A: lose weight Option B: Buy a Bigger Basket.”

“My new year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.”

“Positive (adj.) the most negative word of 2023.”

Humorous Quotes About New Year

“Me having a look at my achievements in 2023.”

“What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!”

“I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead in this New Year.”

“You’d be in good shape if you run as much as your mouth. Happy New Year!”

“My new year’s resolution was going to be that I would stop being sarcastic, but dammit, I’m no quitter.”

“Dear Luck… Can we be friends in 2023? :P”

“I’m not buying 2023 planner until I see a trailer.”

Sarcastic New Year’s Resolutions

“Before I agree to 2023, I need to see some terms & conditions.”

“Money won’t solve my problems, but a glass of champagne would.”

“Cheers to those who are walking into 2023 single. Happy New Year!!”

“New Year’s Resolution… More time on the treadmill.”

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.”

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