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Funny Quotes

120 Funny Quotes Of The Day

Always life without laughter would be so boring. If you need a pick-me-up or just love a good opportunity to giggle, these funny quotes and sayings will make you laugh. These funny quotes and hilarious sayings will make you laugh. Read and share these funny quotes from famous comedians, actors, authors, TV shows, and movies. Need some funny quotes to make a laugh for your friends?

Laughing is the best way to kick off your day. Facebook would not be amusing enough to take any of the attention if it were not for humorous memes — you know: jokes and pictures that exist solely for simple amusement Just portraits and stylized food images will be Facebook, too. And Twitter? And? Don’t even start us. Don’t even start. In brief, the internet will be a cheerless wasteland with endless news updates, questionable analysis, and instant social networking outlets without any of the funniest content on the planet.

Funny Quotes Of The Day 1

Funny Quotes Of The Day

Funny Quotes

1. When I die I want my last words to be, “I left a million dollars under the…”

Funny Quotes From The Worlds Funniest People

Funny Quotes From The Worlds Funniest People

2. I am unsupervised… for those that know me well, you would know that this could lead to all kinds of trouble!

3. I just got a cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.

4. Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

5. Good thoughts being positive or negative are habits of thoughts that have a very strong influence on life. No negative thoughts allowed.

6. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet… I get hungry.

Best Funny Quotes To Share With Hilarious Friends

Best Funny Quotes To Share With Hilarious Friends

7. we don’t receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

8. Funny quotes to make your day.

9. common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

10. Young enough t know I can, old enough to know I shouldn’t stupid enough to do it anyway.

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Funny Quotes Of The Day

11. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. Theodore Roosevelt

12. I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. Anonymous

Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh

Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh

13. “Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron

14. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. Albert Einstein

15. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared! Anonymous

Funny Quotes From The World’s Funniest People

16. “I”m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my a—.”

Hilarious Memes Thatll Make You Lose It

Hilarious Memes Thatll Make You Lose It

17. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

18. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

19. “I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a f—ing lady.”

20. I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends. Walt Whitman

Best Funny Quotes To Share With Hilarious Friends

21. Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous

22. Don’t let anyone glide all over you. Once you let mo-fos slide, they start to think they can ice skate.

FUNNY MEMES The Funniest Memes Of All Time

FUNNY MEMES The Funniest Memes Of All Time

23. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West

24. The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’ Anonymous

25. There are many people in desperate need of high-fives. Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.

26. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin

27. What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous

28. Minions always tell it like it is. Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘awesome’ ends with ‘me’ and ‘ugly’ starts with ‘u’.”

29. The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke

30. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous

Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh

31. It’s safer to stick to old habits. I choked on a carrot this afternoon, and all I could think was ‘I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.’

32. Sometimes the best way to make a meme is to come up with the most literal, obvious caption possible and then present it like you’re brilliant.

33. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

34. Most of the time… when you’re crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time… when you’re worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time… when you’re happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time… Anonymous

35. It’s the best kind of exercise. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.

36. The world needs a Grumpy Cat to be our mascot every Monday, because Garfield doesn’t hate Mondays quite enough for the modern worker.

37. The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke

38. Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening. I wasn’t even listening. Anonymous

39. I bet guys can’t do this! “I hate men who say girls are ‘weak.’ Excuse me, but can you bleed for seven days straight and not die? I don’t think so.

40. All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

Funny Sister Quotes

“Sister. Did you know, Good friends come and go but a sister and her wardrobe is for life.” – Unknown

“More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good.” – Linda Sunshine

“Sisters share a bond unlike any other-thornier, but also tender, full of possibility.” – Joy McCullough

“Sisters don’t need words-we’ve already got our own language of eye rolls, sighs, winks, laughs, and screams.” – Unknown

“That feeling when you’re so excited to see your sister…and you realize she’s wearing your clothes.” – Unknown

Funny Dog Quotes

Dogs have absolutely earned their title as Man’s best friend. They increase your daily activity level, but they are incredibly entertaining and make for excellent companions (especially for hugs!). So how could we not collect the best dog quotes? These funny sayings encapsulate the undeniable joy of owning a pup and its amazing energy. All fur parents will relate to these!

“I WOULD 100% rather be home WITH MY DOG (JUDGE ME).” ~ Anonymous

“The only person who understands me is my dog.” ~ Anonymous

“Handle every stressful situation like a des If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” ~ Anonymous

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” ~ WILL ROGERS

“DOG ARE OUR LINK TO PARADISE.” ~ Anonymous

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ~ Kevin Jannes

“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, and turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half- times takes 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” ~ Erma Bombeck

“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.” ~ ROBERT BRAULT

“I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” ~ Jon Stewart

Fortunately, you can’t imagine that is a nightmare, thanks only to the fact that funny memes are everywhere. Here, we’ve compiled the most amusing memes of all time. Don’t worry: We kept everything SFW. Because if there’s one ironclad rule of the internet, it’s this: Never hunt for memes on the bad part.

Whenever something makes you mad, you can use Arthur’s Fist meme—easily one of the funniest memes of all time—to properly (and hilariously) express your emotions.

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Laughing is sometimes all you need in life. Laughing is good for your health in so many ways, and it has been shown to strengthen heart muscles and make you feel better. Even though we’re not doctors, we’re sure that laughter is the best medicine. This list of quotes is just what you need if you’re having a bad day, need a pick-me-up, or just love a good laugh. We’ve put together a list of the funniest quotes, jokes, and sayings that can be used in any situation.

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