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Anniversary Wishes Messages

120 Funny Anniversary Quotes | Wedding Anniversary Wishes

Funny anniversary quotes, wishes, sayings, and images that are funny. Bring a smile to your spouse’s face with this list of 120 funny anniversary quotes for couples. These wedding anniversary wishes are sure to light them up. Here are some amusing quotes about wedding anniversaries to make you giggle about the years gone by and your personal relationship. Laughter and humor are essential components of a successful anniversary celebration. Send your lover witty and funny anniversary quotes to brighten up your celebration.

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Marriage isn’t always simple; it’s a mix of difficult, humorous, and sometimes inconceivable (i.e. You definitely know way too much about his bodily functions) moments that make it so lovely. Use these relatable anniversary quotes as text messages, Instagram or Facebook status updates, or any other manner you want to have a good laugh with your husband/wife on this wonderful day.

120 Funny Anniversary Quotes | Wedding Anniversary Wishes

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ” -Groucho Marx

“For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End. ” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

“Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.” – James Garner

“If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

funny anniversary quotes

Funny Quotes for Wedding Anniversary

“In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” – Woody Allen

“Thank you for wedding me and giving me a chance to scream at you whenever I feel, And I am sure I have you to do the same in the future. So let us celebrate our Happy Anniversary! ”

“Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.”-Oscar Wilde

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we argued serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” -Jack Benny

“Behind every great man – a woman is rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” -Michel De Montaigne

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller

funny anniversary quotes

Funny Happy Anniversary Quotes

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ” -Socrates

“Marriage is the perfection of what love is aimed at, ignorant of what it seeks.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Marriage is like a deck of cards: at the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but after a while, you just wish you had a club and a spade!”

“We have a love-hate relationship in which we adore each other but despite being apart. My Love, I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

“I know you appreciate the fact that before we married, you were unaware that there was a proper method to return milk to the refrigerator.”

“Another revolution of the planet, and I’m still head over heels in love with you. Lover Boy, I’d like to congratulate you on our anniversary!”

“Wedding anniversaries are a moment for guys to reflect on what they did before getting married: anything they desired to do.”

“Anniversaries remind me that I still have the ability to annoy you. Thank you for providing me with so many opportunities last year. For the time being, happy anniversary!”

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Funny Happy Anniversary Messages

“On the occasion of our anniversary, I’d like you to know how much I’ve loved bothering you over the years and how eager I am to continue doing so in the future.”

“The longer you spend with someone, the more you start to rub off on them. So I don’t think there’s much of you left as individuals at this time.”

“We go together like “copy” and “paste.” Happy Anniversary Baby!”

“My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!”

“I really love you, etc. Can we eat now?”

“Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”

“Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.”

“Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”

funny anniversary quotes

Funny Anniversary Quotes for Couples

“Love means commitment. Of course, so do most mental illnesses! Wishing you a Happy Anniversary.”

“Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.”

“After all these years, I think that I got the better end of the deal. Thanks for putting up with me all these years.”

“The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.”

“Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”

“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.”

“If I had to choose to do it all over again I would marry you again… I’m not so sure about having the kids though.”

“I am happy to know two amazing people who have been together for an amazing amount of time. That’s you two!”

“Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”

“I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”

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Funny Anniversary Quotes Images

“Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”

“Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail. I call that a win. Happy Anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary, and just so you know, these anniversary wishes are not late, they are almost a whole year early!”

“Cheers to two imperfect pieces that fit perfectly together.”

“Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.”

“Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”

“One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”

“There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”

“If I wanted to live a tranquil life, I wouldn’t have married you. My life would have been so dull and uninteresting. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!”

“When God paired you and me together, he demonstrated his sense of humor. He also demonstrated His brilliance. Three cheers for another year of marriage, hubby!”

“When you’re wrong, accept it to maintain your marriage flowing with love in the loving cup. Shut up whenever you’re correct.”

“Love, trust, collaboration, tolerance, and tenacity are all celebrated on a wedding anniversary. The sequence changes from year to year.”

“Nothing makes me happier than knowing you accept me for who I am and allow me to be who I am. Even if I’m annoying and insane.”

“Throughout the good times and the bad? I used to be skinny, and now I’m chubby, but I still like you. Congratulations on our wedding anniversary.”

“I’m honored that you chose me to be the special woman in your life who will pick up your socks and wash your underpants for the rest of your life.”

“Get married if you want to forgo the praise of many men for the condemnation of one. If you don’t succeed the first time, try doing it the way your wife suggested.”

“Imagine, it’s been another year since we last commemorated the beginning of our pain, err, loving! Don’t you believe we’re madly in love with one other? Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!”

“I’d fight a bear for you because I adore you. Not a Grizzly Bear, because they have claws, and not a Panda Bear, because they are Kung Fu experts… But if it came down to it, I’d fight a Care Bear for you.”

“I want you to know how much joy and satisfaction I’ve gotten from bothering the crap out of you all these years on our anniversary. I also want you to know that I have no intention of ever quitting. Happy anniversary, sweetheart!”

“When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage. ” – Katharine Hepburn

“OK, so most of our candlelight dinners are when the electricity goes off. But, you still keep me charged every day. Love you and happy anniversary. ”

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile at it.” -Josh Billings

“Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.”-Melanie White

“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.” – Jean Kerr

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henry Youngman

“Cheers to another year of pain and suffering.”

“I’ll love you even when you’re old and wrinkly.”

“Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.”

“A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”

“On our wedding anniversary, I just want to give a big party from your pay. Happy Anniversary!”

“I fall in love with you every day. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”

“Peanut butter and jelly are not a finer match. Cheers to our Anniversary!”

“Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”

“Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will send you.”

“Happy Anniversary! We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.”

“To say I fell hard for you is an understatement. I still love you now more than ever.”

“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.”

“I’ll be wherever you are, keeping an eye on you to make sure you don’t get into any trouble. My beloved, I wish you a happy anniversary!”

“I’m in love with you. You irritate me more than I ever imagined imaginable. But I want to spend every annoyance-inducing moment with you.”

“Then there was the man who stated, ‘I never realized what true happiness was until I married; it was too late by then.'”

“Marriage is a real eye-opener, even though love is blind.”

“Drugstores are well-versed in life. That’s why the Sympathy and Anniversary cards are close to one another.”

“Men with pierced ears, in my opinion, are better prepared for marriage. They’ve been through agony and purchased jewelry as a result.”

“Marriage is the union of two people who never forget anniversaries and who never forget each other.”

“I have one place in mind for our anniversary that I believe we don’t visit often enough during the year. The bed chamber!”

“Any educated woman who reads the marriage contract before entering it deserves to suffer the full brunt of the repercussions.”

“I used to think I knew what happiness was, but after I got married, I realized I didn’t. Then I realize it’s already too late when I wake up.”

“I like you better than carbs, but not as much as cheese!”

“I still care about you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”

“You already have me, so I’m not sure what else you might want. However, you should knock yourself out.”

“Nothing is impossible when two people adore each other. Aside from picking where to dine, that is.”

“It’s like having a best friend who never listens to what you say while you’re married to them.”

“For the rest of my life, you are the only person I want to bother. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!”

“Marriage is just a series of whispers asking, “Are you awake?” I have to show you this footage of a cat.”

“Let us never stop attempting to change one another.”

“Congratulations on another anniversary that demonstrates how fortunate you are to have each other.”

“Happy anniversary to my spouse, who still looks at other ladies the same way he looks at me.”

“There are no guarantees in marriage. Go Live with a Car Battery if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“A toast to another year of convincing ourselves that we know what we’re doing!”

“I’m looking for you, my beloved hubby. To get more things done around the house.”

“If love is a wonderful dream, marriage is a wake-up call.”

“Marriage is like a shop… where the husband works and the wife shops.”

“All I want for next year is for you to be here. Give me jewels, just kidding.”

“Congratulations on finding a partner who makes you appear rational.”

“Congratulations on your achievement! Here’s to another year of sorrow and pain.”

“You’re still here, right? It appeals to me.”

“What the hell is going on? We’re still together!”

“After all this time, my desire to stay single still outweighs my desire to be with you.”

“We made it through another year without one of us dying or going to jail.”

“I didn’t understand true bliss until I got married; by then, it was too late.”

“We’re all in this together: three kids, two lovebirds, and a mortgage. I adore you!”

“Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering: marriage is a three-ring circus.”

“It’s amazing how long we’ve put up with each other.”

“I haven’t grown tired of you yet.”

“When dating goes too far, it’s time to get married.”

“When both parties feel the urge for a disagreement at the same time, a married pair is ideally matched.”

“I’m not sure how you put up with me. Then I recall, yes, I put up with you for a long time, so we’re even.”

“An archaeologist is the ideal husband a woman can have because he grows more interested in her as she gets older.”

“Oh my god. Is it true that we’re still married? Is it true that you’re still my husband? I suppose it’s a happy anniversary. I adore you.”

“Thank you for volunteering to be my unpaid therapist.”

“There will be no refunds. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!”

“I adore you so intensely that I would gladly take a bullet for you. Not on the head… but perhaps on the leg.”

“Even though you’re losing yours, let’s keep making memories together.”

“I’m at a loss for words to explain my feelings for you. Regardless, thank you for loving me.”

“I thought a condolence card would be more appropriate for our anniversary.”

“Congratulations on your wedding anniversary! Imagine if our marriage worked as well as you portray it on Facebook.”

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Happy wedding anniversary. You might be a bell end but you’re my bell end. And to think I was imagining ways to kill you for the first few years. Happy Anniversary babes. … I hope that has sparked your imagination as to what rude and funny quotes to write in an anniversary card.